Autism, ableism and being a good parent
It is absurd to make this a choice between no restraints on behavior at all and no help or accommodations on the other extreme. It is not all or nothing.
One of the easiest ways to offend the neurodivergent community is to say that it is not "ableist" to expect children on the autism spectrum to behave properly. There are certain standards of behavior that should be expected of everyone, whether they are neurodivergent or not. But to some, "autism" (which is a spectrum, and one word cannot describe every neurodivergent person) has become a religion, and expecting certain standards of behavior is heresy and blasphemy.
As is the case so often, it is not all or nothing. Some neurodivergent people require more accommodations and some require fewer accommodations. I have never said that autistic children should not have some accommodations. What behavior is "proper" is going to require some variation from person to person, and some allowances will be made with some children that will not be made with others. For thousands of years, before the autism spectrum began to be defined in the 20th century, this was known as "common sense." So no, outside of prohibitions on things like violence, I am not going to define every single aspect of proper and improper behavior that should be expected. That is a fool's errand.
But the basic principle of expecting proper behavior is one that should be understood and endorsed by everyone. "Imagine having this much hate in your heart for a child" is a silly and hysterical response. It is not "hate" to help a child adjust to societal expectations (while making accommodations based on their ability) so they can be successful as they grow and mature. We also have to consider that child's peers, and make sure their needs are met by enforcing appropriate behavioral expectations of autistic children.
This is not about "bigotry." Whether we like it or not, the society we live in has general expectations of behaviors and children will need to learn to live within those behavioral standards. We teach this to help those children be successful and to help others as well. And yes, there will need to be accommodations and extra help, which are decided on a case-by-case basis. But some "parents" and activists want to take an "all or nothing" approach where no standards need apply. One hysterical person on Threads even said that making an autistic child "sit still" is abusive. If anything is hateful, it is that mentality. It is hateful to neurodivergent children and to everyone around them. Do better.