Knowing when to separate Christian doctrine from personal preference
We should be uncompromising where the Bible is clear, but avoid binding consciences where it is not.
Should Christians follow the "courtship" model advocated by many today, especially in Reformed circles? There is a lot of discussion on this, but Michael Foster made a good point on his Substack: The courtship model is simply not possible today for many people because of the number of broken homes. Only 60% of families have a married biological mother and father raising children. Churches need to meet families where they are, recognizing that even if one considers the courtship model to be ideal that is not an option for many.
This, of course, leads to my main point: That Christians need to be careful not to make their personal preferences into a doctrinal principle. There is no Biblical directive either way on whether courtship or traditional dating is the best model for Christians. Even within the same family, different people have different needs and personalities. What we should emphasize is where the Bible is clear: Sex outside of marriage is not permitted and Christian singles need to avoid putting themselves in a situation where they will be tempted by sexual immorality.
This applies to a number of areas beyond courtship/dating. Christians disagree and argue about the merits of public school, homeschooling, charter schools, and Christian schools. Christians argue about discipline. Christians argue about proper diet and consuming alcohol. Christians argue about personal grooming, fitness, and the division of labor within a home. Christians fought bitterly with each other about mask mandates in 2020 and 2021.
But unless there is a clear instruction from Scripture (such as the prohibition on fornication which should steer Christians away from "hookup culture") we should recognize where we have personal preferences and respect the Christian liberty of others without needlessly judging them, binding consciences and causing schism within the Church. Since the Church is catholic (universal) this includes fighting between different churches or spats on the Internet.
Where Scripture is uncompromising, we must be uncompromising. But even when Scripture is uncompromising, we may not have the same ideas on how to implement the commands of God's Word. Where Scripture is silent, we must respect Christian liberty. We have enough to worry about without creating needless conflict or discouraging people with a standard they cannot possibly meet.