Respect for authority as the basis of manly character
Before we talk about when to disobey authority, we need to establish the principle of obeying authority. You cannot build a door if you do not have a wall.
As a boy grows into a young man, the most important practical life lesson he needs is basic respect for authority. This is one of the lessons that parents - especially fathers - should teach their children.
No, this does not mean we should "willingly get in the boxcar" and be sent to the concentration camp. I have literally seen that very argument in discussions of respecting authority, especially during the debates over COVID-19 quarantine orders and mask mandates. Yes, there comes a point where we must disobey, as seen in Acts 5:29. But we are always looking for the exception so that we do not have to accept the basic principle that we hate - especially as Americans.
Obviously, this starts with respecting parents as they try to train a boy and then a young man to be a responsible adult. Things are much easier for a boy when he is obeying what he is told. Parents have rules for a reason. But that basic respect for authority extends into the rest of life.
After learning respect for authority at home, that boy will need to respect and obey authority at school. This will help with grades and social relationships, and not being a disruption is kindness for classmates and peers. When that young man enters the workplace, respect for authority will be greatly appreciated by employers and will open up further professional opportunities. Respecting authority at church and being teachable will benefit you spiritually and will also benefit the church. Obviously, obeying the law will keep you out of trouble and prevent you from getting a ticket for something as simple as not wearing a seat belt. (Keep in mind I do not think this should be a law.)
We also have to be careful not to develop a persecution complex that fuels resentment for and disobedience of lawful authority. A couple weeks ago, a writer for The Federalist wrote this: "U.S. leaders have also attempted to prevent Christian worship services. During the 2020 Covid shutdowns, many churches were forcibly closed."
That is fake news. COVID-19 quarantine orders did not target Christians. The quarantine orders were laws of general applicability that affected everyone, not just churches. It is reasonable now and was reasonable then to question the length and scope of the quarantine orders, but painting this as religious persecution is just factually wrong. Christians should not be trading on victimhood as currency the way pagan society does.
Respecting authority is especially important for men who want to be leaders themselves. If you are seen as someone who has contempt for those over him, you are setting a bad example for those under your authority. This is true whether it is your own children or in other contexts outside the home. A man who refuses to respect the authority over him will likely be a doormat or a tyrant, and neither are good qualities in a leader.
Yes, there are abusive authorities. But we must be careful to not define "abuse" as simply expecting people to follow the rules at home, at school, at work or while driving on streets and highways. Authority is inescapable in our lives, and is woven into our society, our culture and our very nature by God Himself, who is the ultimate authority. We obey the authorities He has placed over us not because we are servile boot-lickers, but for our own benefit. When we are obeying those authorities, we are ultimately obeying God.